Motivation Gut Healing
Fitness, Health, and Wellness

I Need Some Motivation for Healing my Gut

Updates, Accountability & What’s Going On!

My motivation for healing my gut is so low and I need to just write to get my thoughts on a page. So here we go! I am not feeling great. In all aspects…Crohn’s, life, mentally, physically. And I know that I need to make some adjustments. But finding the motivation lately in a STRUGGLE. Maybe because I feel like crap? And the cycle continues.

My life has been a whirlwind the past year. I changed my job, went to training far from home which lead to eating like absolute crap, pandemic crisis, and moving 3000 miles away from family. It hasn’t been easy. And now I’m moving again (why must I do these things to myself) which adds just the slightest extra layer of stress on top of the fact that I am a complete mess right now.

Motivation Gut Healing

I have a lot of healing to do.

And I’m weak…I literally cannot keep myself accountable to make the necessary adjustments to heal my gut. My eating choices need to be better. I essentially ate horribly for an entire year because I was away at training and not having the means to eat healing foods. This all leads to extreme body dysmorphia for me which is a whole other can of worms. BUT I CAN’T STOP EATING FOODS THAT ARE BAD FOR ME. I literally crumble when any temptation comes into sight. I simply cannot say no.  See why I need some accountability? Accountability brings me motivation.

I have nothing to work for right now…

In a health sense. Which is why I am lacking motivation. This pandemic has crushed all our going out and working towards things dreams! I’m used to working hard for my wedding or someone else’s wedding, or trying to look and feel good for that trip. Get that summer bod, you know? This is probably a twisted mindset in itself. But since I have nothing to look forward to, my motivation trickles away. Again…I’m weak. Another problem, I’m also struggling with motivation to write because I just feel like overall crap, so how can I write about how to thrive when I don’t feel like I am?

My mind is literally all over the place.

One minute I’m thinking about how I need to eat better. The next I’m trying to find something to write about. I will then find myself googling anti-inflammatory diets and nutrition coaching (like what? I love my job and have no intention of every changing it). A minute later, I get angry about the fact that I am spending too much time on screen. Then I get “hungry” and go make a poor food choice. Then I tell myself I am going to be better and “starting tomorrow I am going to [insert my newest passion here]”. To then crumble emotionally because I feel bloated and gross and really didn’t need that snack. Like I said, it’s a vicious cycle that is pulling me in deep and I’m struggling to stay afloat. May I also add that I weened off my anxiety meds and I am currently finding the littlest of things to obsess over which isn’t help this whole problem. Also, the IUD is gone and this influx of hormones is crazy!  TMI? Oh, well. I’m an open book.

Motivation Gut Healing

So, here is how I am going to stay motivated to heal my gut:

  1. The first step (in my mind) was writing it down, writing in general, and clearing my head from the craziness that is inside it.
  2. Hold myself accountable to make better eating choices by telling the internet that I’m doing it. 🙂 If you want to hold me accountable I’m all for it! I do better in accountability groups and I’m not part of one right now. I made it one whole week of an anti-inflammatory protocol…#progress!
  3. Fight the temptations! For instance, I don’t need to eat the gluten and dairy laden cookies at work to wish my coworker happy birthday. I’m sure they would be okay with me just saying it to them. Also, my sugar cravings are real and hard to break right now!
  4. Calm the f*#k down. In all ways. And not beat myself up for making poor choices…’tis life.
  5. Incorporate my mindfulness practices into my life again! I need yoga and meditation in my life and I haven’t been making that a priority.
  6. Pat myself on the back for the good things. Currently, I am pleased with my workouts and my ability to enjoy them and become stronger. So go me (while patting myself on the back)!
  7. Evaluate whether I want to keep writing on a blog, move over to Instagram only, or completely step away. A lot of my anxiety and overthinking is social media/blog related and maybe I don’t need the added stress? I want to help people, but at what cost? I cannot pour from an empty cup. Maybe my mind will change once I am feeling better! (If I truly am helping you, please let me know so I can take that into account 🙂 ).

Thank you for listening. I’d say thank you for coming to my TED talk to sound cool…but this doesn’t apply 🙂